I See You

 Almost a decade ago I was writing a blog titled "Read, Relax, Recognize," and then somehow I fell out of it and moved to other things, but these present times are so fraught with conflict and confusion---it's time to get back to work!

And so, with that short introduction, here we go again!

                                                                  "I See You"

Many years ago I was on the adventure of my life, driving in a VW van with friends across the Alps, through northern Italy and into southern France. On the Saturday night before Easter, we arrived in the beautiful ancient city of Arles. We parked the van and quickly found a seat in a café in the main square, close to the ancient Roman amphitheater, very eager to observe the holiday crowd doing all the interesting things that crowds do.

Many of the local men had been drinking heavily throughout the evening, and all around us was noise and mayhem. Suddenly, two guys began shouting at one another, and as they grew angrier and angrier the conflict escalated into a right violent fight with lots of flying fists. As they were too drunk to land many blows, they ended up grabbing one another’s shirts and continued the struggle that way.

Both of the men were completely lost in their anger, and this sad episode was surely not meant to have a peaceful outcome, but then something quite extraordinary happened. One of the men happened to glance into the eyes of the other, and then amidst the struggling, he kept looking. His opponent could sense that the other man was actually seeing him for the first time---not as an enemy but as another person. At once both men looked deeply at each other, they held their gaze, smiled, gave up their struggle and began to dance together in one another's arms. Yes, they danced together in one another's arms!! How amazing and unexpected a change of attitude it was. 

In the whole of my life I will never forget this, and it is not only because we were saved one bloody fistfight on an Easter evening, but also because this is such a grand metaphor of how life can be. When we actually SEE one another as fellow human beings, our apparent differences look a lot different. We can have wildly divergent opinions, be of different ethnicities, have opposite views of politics and have no language or culture in common, but we can surely see one another despite all of that.

There is a beautiful greeting in the Zulu language: “Sawubona.” It means “I see you,” but this lovely phrase is not meant only in the common way of, “Oh, there is a body standing there,” but rather, “I see you in all your humanness and in our commonality as people.” When we see another in this way, we are seeing the essence, and we are not being distracted by all the labels and distinctions. When we have this clear vision, we allow our recognition of the oneness of all things to be sustained. We hold this truth to be self-evident---that there is only One thing here, and when we see, that One-ness is what we are seeing.

“Namaste” is another lovely greeting that exemplifies what I am pointing to. This is a greeting used in India; the word comes from Sanskrit and is a combination of “nama” and “te.” "Nama" means to bow, make reverential salutation or have adoration for, and “te” means “to you.” Its deeper meaning is “the god in me bows to the god in you,” and the greeting is done with the two palms brought together in front of one’s heart to symbolize the oneness. How wonderful a way to greet and be greeted, and how brilliant a reflection of the way things really are! 

As noble and as inspiring as these customs are, it is so easy to forget this practie of clear seeing, isn't it? Surely we need reminders as we move through our day-to-day existence. We are constantly coming into contact with people with whom we wildly disagree, people who we feel are getting it totally wrong, and we sense the need in ourselves to make them see their wrong-ness. It may well be that at some level, yes, they are getting it horribly wrong, but where is our attention directed? Are we seeing only our disagreements and their wrong-ness, or are we truly able to SEE them as essentially non-different from ourselves?

When we observe a passenger at the airport shouting and cursing at the employee because the plane was late, we can be pretty sure that the passenger has lost sight of what really matters. If, however, we can bring forth loving support, respectful relating and gracious kindness---even in the midst of grand disagreement or upset---then we can be equally certain that the important things are being acknowledged.

I look at the present political landscape in the US and I observe people expressing points of view or supporting theories that seem to me, well, crazy. But I have to pause. My first reaction upon hearing these things was to resist and make the people wrong and to get angry that they could think and behave in this way. Then, thank goodness, this practice of seeing somehow came to the rescue. I could still disagree with them, but I did not need to disdain them or make them "other." Instead, what I found myself doing was introspecting: "The things these folks support truly do seem crazy to me, but, BUT, what are the ways in which I am equally deluded?" Seen from the vantage of absolute clarity and wisdom, how many of my long held assumptions are crazy, that is, totally misaligned with reality? Humility is crucial; we should never assume that we have it absolutely right, for who knows how very much we don't know?  

When I first came to study, live and work in Germany, it was only a few decades after the war. The older Germans I was meeting who were so kind to me, what had they done in the war? Likely many of them had personal stories that they were not very proud of. The priest in the Catholic dormitory where I lived had been in the Wehrmacht and in an American internment camp. The administrator at the tennis courts where I taught tennis in Munich had been in the SS on the Eastern Front. What horrors had he seen, and committed? It was an education for me. I could condemn the actions and want them to take responsibility for what they had done, but I could not hate the person. 

And now for the most extreme example; please bear with me. This horrible war in Ukraine which Russia has unleashed not only on Ukraine, but in a sense, on the whole world. We see Russian soldiers committing atrocities; we see civilians dying in the streets, children blown apart by bombs, the grandmother of a friend of mine, 91 years-old, killed by shelling in Mariupol. I am struggling here; how can I make peace with the anger I feel for the Russian soldiers and their leaders who are doing these horrible things? 

A friend recently posted a YouTube video of 220 Russian musicians really rocking out to the song "The Final Countdown" in a park in Moscow last year, before the war began. Look at all of these beautiful young people and this gloriously happy scene, viewed 2.7 million times by people from all around the world. These young Russians are laughing, singing and playing their hearts out. We can all share their joy and feel the commonality with them. And yet, maybe some of these same young Russian musicians have been conscripted into the army, and they are the ones who are now raining death and destruction on civilians in Ukraine. I surely cannot justify or support their actions, but no, I can't hate them. In my mind's eye I see them there playing their instuments in the park in Moscow---living a human life with all its twists and turns. I know there are many ways to respond to the tragedy that they are participating in, but hatred is not the way.

As with all things, the decision to maginalize, or to include, is a choice we have. No outer circumstance can force us to forget our commonality; we decide that for ourselves. As for myself, I know for sure that I want a life that is filled with joy and peace and which aspires to find the end to conflict, both in the world and in myself. Only by each of us making that choice in each moment and in each encounter will the war-ravaged world we live in be transformed. 

Hmm, better to dance than hate, wouldn’t you say!

Ship-Shape, Bristol Fashion and Amazing Grace

This is a message addressed to a place which I have never visited and to the people living there, many of whom I have never met, but for whom I feel such affection and appreciation. These are people who are living a life of passionate service to others, and this is my love letter to them in thanks for that service. In acknowledging them as one shining example of benefit for all, I thereby acknowledge as well all the people all around the world who are living in the same way.

So, first to the title and the reason for this letter: “Ship-shape and Bristol fashion” is an old expression in Britain that almost no one uses anymore, which means “efficiently arranged, in good order.” It comes from the fact that the city of Bristol was once one of the busiest ports in England, but it is located on an estuary where the tidal range is ten meters. So, at high tide the ships are floating on ten meters of water, but at low tide many of the ships would end up touching the bottom of the harbor and could tip to one side. Everything on the ship needed to be properly secured; otherwise, it could tip over and break. Hence, the sailors needed to protect the cargo so that it would be “ship-shape and Bristol fashion.”

Another aspect of Bristol’s maritime history is that in the 1700s it was the leading port for slave ships going to Africa and then to America. Over a hundred-year period, as many as 2,000 ships left Bristol to transport almost a half million people into slavery. One of the many slave-ship captains in those days was a man named John Newton. He was originally pressed into involuntary service in the Royal Navy as a young man, and he was known to be one of the most disobedient, disrespectful and foul-mouthed sailors on any of the ships. He had frequent arguments with the officers, and he was actually imprisoned for a while for his bad conduct. Nevertheless, through his intelligence and sailing skill, over time he gained the respect of his superiors and was eventually promoted to the position of captain on some of the slave ships.

While he was on a ship sailing in the North Atlantic, a huge storm blew in and battered the ship so violently that everyone onboard was sure that they would sink and drown. Newton felt the fear and emotion so completely that in that moment he experienced a spiritual conversion. He gradually gave up his old ways and decided to begin a new life, and he would eventually write a hymn of redemption and liberation that is known all over the world—“Amazing Grace.”

So, now, how does all this tie together and what is this “love letter” really all about? I so enjoy looking at words in a new way and seeing a meaning that was not apparent before, and when I first heard this phrase “Bristol fashion,” an image came into my head and I understood that phrase is a manner vastly different from the one which it had originally.

I happen to have many friends in Bristol who are a part of a worldwide community of people who are devoted to serving all, and who exemplify a way of life that is a model for how people can live together happily. I feel sure that, based on this and other models of its kind, more and more communities around the world will emerge in which the culture of gratitude and service is pervasive. The more I thought about this incredible change in the world—that people can come together in harmony with one another with the intention of serving one another and serving all—the more I came to understand the phrase “Bristol fashion” in a new way.

This way of life, this Bristol fashion, has a lot to do with the recognition that John Newton had and why he was moved to write a song about amazing grace. His song is about finding a simple and sincere way of living that liberates through faith: “I once was lost but now am found; Was blind but now I see; Was grace that relieved my fears, that gave me a life of joy and peace…bright shining as the sun,” and so many other bountiful lines.

However, these would only be so many words if they were not actually realized in the lives of people. But, yes, these words are coming alive in people all over the world. This Bristol-fashion way of living has a lot to do with making a simple change in one’s life—a change in which one relies on one’s own inherent peace, harmony and clarity, rather than being ruled by all the wild promptings of thoughts and emotions. It is such a simple choice and a simple practice: over and over again, regardless of what arises, one rests in that place of peace. This directly and inevitably leads to freedom from the enslavement to a raging mind. When one makes that choice over and over again for short moments many times and then can come together with others who are also living that way, marvelous things can happen.

So, this little love letter to those people in Bristol and around the world who are living in the Bristol fashion is an act of gratitude on my part—gratitude for wonderful people who are dedicated to bringing joy and abundance into the lives of others. How empowering it is for me to write these words and feel such confidence in their coming into fruition—that there will in fact be the amazing grace of people living all over the world in the Bristol fashion.

The Hum of Bliss

Stunned into silence by gratitude, I am freed from the bondage of the merely apparent. However long You may have been drowned by the deceptive drone of busy-ness, Sweet Presence, NOW You disclose Yourself. The hum of bliss is Your song, and every speck of space sings it.

Pervasive, infinitely potent, forever existing but hidden, You slip back the veil and reveal Yourself as overwhelmingly present, despite the distraction of the 10,000 things. You have been a most illusive bride, but in this instant you are no longer concealed. Blessed are the ones who are allowed to glimpse You.

Dearest, You have never left me, so leave me no more. You have only concealed Your mystery by virtue of Your grandeur. With no lack, feeling no hindrance, seeking nothing, the search evaporates like spilled water on a blazingly brilliant day.

Yes, the hum of bliss…hummmmm…sustaining all, unfolding in ever more astonishing variety, but never once departing from the here-and-now. Sweetness, oh love, oh joy, You burst forth unasked. Courageously we leave all of what is familiar and grasp Your hand.

Your beauty is indescribable, but only because it is too vast for human words. Bride of my heart, I adore You. I forsake all others. None of the heedless can wed You, but I know that You are not far away. Whisper in my ear once more, for I never grow weary of Your coaxing. Come to me, Dearest, I will be a faithful lover.

The Marriage of Total Grief and Total Joy

We are told throughout our lives to believe that our emotions have power over us. We learn that if we are, for instance, sad or depressed or grief-stricken, then this emotion is solid and real and it has the capacity to rule us for as long as we are wrapped in it. We are also led to believe that two opposing emotions cannot coexist at the same time. So, say for instance, one could not possibly feel great sadness and great happiness at the same time, as those two solid and substantial states would necessarily crowd one another out.

I now know from my own direct experience that all of this is completely untrue.

Recently I was waiting to go up to speak to about seventy lovely friends, and five minutes before that talk was to begin, I was given the unexpected news that a dear friend, a lovely young person full of kindness and compassion, had died suddenly. For a moment I simply stood there in shock with my hands clasped over my face. The grief came pouring in and I was totally absorbed by it. I felt all the deepest feelings welling up, and I was about to break into tears. But I also recognized that I would need to be at rest with this flood of emotion, because I would be momentarily addressing people who had not yet heard the news and that this was not the proper time to inform them.

I recollected myself, stood quietly for a minute and let everything be as it is. I then went up front to the stage, trembling with emotion as I sat down in the chair in front of a sea of wondering faces. When it was my turn to speak, I had no idea what I would say. However, all of a sudden a vivid image came into my head: the lovely lupine flowers that we have beside the roadside in summer. I spoke of how when the lupines are picked and placed in a vase, they still have the life and intelligence to move towards to sun, separating themselves from one another to give each stem enough space to grow. I described how these flowers, like all the seasonal flowers, had a time of life and then they died. The metaphorical relationship between the flowers and what had happened with our young friend was very present for me, and I was engulfed by intense grief.

But then, as I just sat there and let the emotions wash over me, I could see that grief was not the only thing present, even if it was overwhelmingly present. Simultaneous to the grief and equally at hand was an awe-inspiring joy and gratitude. I could not say that the joy and gratitude was for anything in particular, but there it was in equal measure to the crushing grief.

How could this be? I was not in a position just then to figure it out, and thank goodness for that. Instead, I was in a very auspicious instant of total clarity, watching something quite extraordinary happen: two tremendous feelings that I had never experienced at one time together were totally and completed wedded to one another in that precious moment.

We completed the talk, and I think that it is fair to say that I came off that stage a different person from the one who went up to it. I had seen, in my own direct experience, that the names for emotions don’t matter. Whatever description we give to things, it is all one incredibly beneficial energy flowing in a marvelous and miraculous way. Once this is seen, then it is also seen that there is nothing to be avoided and nothing to be afraid of. Life in all its glory is ever-present in the here and now, and it is only our descriptions that distract us from that gift.

I am reminded of an ancient teaching which I will paraphrase here: Wisdom is not difficult for those who have no preferences. When love and hate are both absent, everything becomes clear and undisguised. Make the smallest distinction, however, and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart. If we wish to see the truth, then hold no opinions for or against anything. To set up what you like against what you dislike is merely the play of the mind. When the deep meaning of things is not understood, the mind’s essential peace is disturbed to no avail. Be serene in the oneness of things, and such erroneous views will disappear by themselves. With a single stroke we are freed from bondage.

Contentment

This past weekend I was visiting with my sister and her family, and not only did I have the opportunity to spend time with beloved family members, but then I was given another—unexpected—gift…

My sister teaches a Sunday School class for young people, and as she was preparing for her next day’s lesson, she came to me with a question: “I want to speak to them about contentment, but I don’t know exactly how to explain what that means. How do you tell them about something that is probably only a vague notion for them?”

I was intrigued by this question, and I went off on my own to consider it for a while. I thought, “Well, “contentment” is quite a profound concept, and maybe a lot of adults don’t fully understand what it means. How does one put it into plain language so that even a child could comprehend it?”

I could see the possible context for dealing with this issue: these young people live in a materialistic culture with pressure from all sides to acquire more and more stuff, and reminders of contentment are few and far between. I also knew that deep discussions about contentment would probably not be going on in most households, and that it is the tendency of people—of all ages—to be more focused on what they don’t have as opposed to what they innately possess.

Normally when we hear the word “contentment,” we turn our attention to the things that are meant to bring contentment. These things are different for different people, but the list might start with an attractive and loving romantic partner, a beautiful home, satisfaction of desires, abundance, safety, security, material comfort, respect and acclaim. But the more I pondered my sister’s question, the more it became clear to me that there was evidence of contentment all around, but that it often went unrecognized because it did not necessarily have to do with any of those things.

I happen to know many people who have hardly any of the things that I have listed, who nevertheless have the obvious presence of contentment in their lives. What is it these people “have” that contents them, even if their contentment wasn’t in the having of anything?

What I see in these wonderful people is a vast openness to all experience, an enormous capacity for letting things be as they are. They are active, engaged, energetic, intelligent, skilled, joyous and serviceful, but at the same time they reside in a place of complete rest. The constant barrage of thoughts, emotions, sensations and experiences seems to be going on the same for them as for anyone else, but they are not carried away by the flow. Their attention is not on themselves and all of their personal concerns; rather, they maintain a profound interest in a place of great depth and peace that includes everyone and everything.

The key ingredient to this contentment seems to be the recognition of a place in themselves that has no place—an unchanging essence, a natural state, awareness, clarity, open intelligence, a place of peace—call it by whatever name. There is in them a moment by moment choice to return to that place of peace over and over, for short moments, again and again.

When distractions occur—and even if the distractions continue for a while—the choice is eventually made to return to that place of peace. They sustain themselves with reminders so that the choice is not obscured: they seek out community with this as the basis, they commit themselves to reaching out for support when needed and they refresh the commitment by reading, listening to and investigating unerring teachings that speak unwaveringly about what is true.


So, in the end, what would I want to tell those young people in the Sunday School class? I would want to stand before them and be able to say with the utmost confidence, “Dear ones, you have nothing to fear. Everything you need, you have. Naturally occurring wisdom and well-being that will never leave you come from acknowledging the truth within yourselves, for short moments, many times, until the acknowledgement becomes spontaneous and continuous.”

So, this was the gift I received: knowing that this is so for myself, knowing that it is true for others, and knowing that this simple truth can be communicated clearly and easily. This gift, this contentment, is our greatest possession.

For No Reason, Joy Unbounded

Sitting alone, minding my own business, not much bothered either way, nothing special on the menu, no angels dancing across the heavens, but yet....a joy that is unbounded and uncaused. Not as a passing experience, not as a special state, not as anything that belongs to any person, not dependent on a circumstance and not driven away by any circumstance. Subtle, barely noticeable, imperceptibly moving in and out of awareness—but uninterruptedly and powerfully present. Delicate, slight, understated, faint—but distinctly near at hand.
Our whole fucking life is spent chasing after the next experience just to taste this—what is it?—something that is already present. Life’s triumphs, pleasures and acquisitions conjure up a counterfeit, and we are led to believe it is the real thing, but that is a fool’s game. Those things don’t bring this nameless joy; they only hold up a mirror.
Doing nothing, what is obvious becomes obvious. Clear seeing, no distraction, passionate disinterest in the passing show, but yet full and adoring engagement in everyone and everything without exception.

The cat comes up and wants to be cuddled; the bright and beautiful autumn sun shines brightly on a splendid book lying by the half-drunk coffee; nature’s bounty unfolds miraculously in each moment; loving friendship profoundly expressed and appreciated. These dazzling ambassadors serve as expert reminders: “It is always here with you! Don’t despair.”
No job to complete, no need to hold on, no fear of anything coming or going away. Restfully, easefully letting things be as they are. I didn't earn this, but there it is! Appreciation and Gratitude overflowing....